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November 02, 2005
Commitment
Jay started the session by saying that a few months back in one of these sessions he decided to restart his yoga practice. Ever since, he has been doing yoga everyday, sometimes twice. When asked how did he get that discipline, he said, �It�s easy when you commit.� He said he does not look at commitment with a �disciplinary� attitude but as a stance that is actually a joy to live with. �I am committed, I am joyful � I see no difference�, he said.
This triggered something I had been thinking for a while. I wondered whether consciously committing to something is actually an act of recognition of a commitment that has already happened internally. May be, I thought, commitment is the explicit naming of what has already happened inside of a person and not the naming of what is yet to happen. But, I continued, this recognition is very important because it gives form, shape and expression to something that is internalized but is not visible. Bringing it to visibility could take the commitment to a whole new level and open access to capacities we didn�t know we had. The metaphor would be water heating up to 99 degrees. Naming/recognizing a commitment that has already been heating up inside us is similar to the temperature crossing 99 degrees and at that instant, at 100 degrees, the water starts boiling. If we switch off the stove at 99 degrees, the water would never know what boiling is. The naming of the commitment is the final and most vital push necessary to get to 100 degrees, and at that point, it would become a source of joy and could unleash our passion and creativity.
Mani came up with a counter point. He referred to highly successful people like Bill Gates and said they have been able to make a commitment to something that has not taken any root. And have been able to execute it successfully. He said that they have the discipline to mean what they say and act upon it.
Jay said that his daughter, at the age of 15, wanted a pony. When everyone thought she is crazy, she saved money and bought a pony, took care of it� and eventually horses became her career.
We then re-looked at what is commitment. It became clear that there seems to be at least two types of commitment: In the first stage of life when one�s capacities and discipline have not developed, commitment is the recognition of something that has been taking root unconsciously. In the second stage, when one�s capacities and discipline are well developed, then one could commit to what is yet to happen.
These two ways of looking at commitment goes against the way people normally tend to commit to something. In general, people think of commitment when they have an irresistible vision, ambition, desire or belief. The folklore of �heroes� emphasize that it is possible to commit to something without any capacity or resources and that pure grit can help people develop and get whatever is needed to succeed and persistence is all one needs. However, the folklore does say that discipline is an absolute necessity. The problem is, one then comes to think of discipline as something one can bring to existence by merely invoking the word and the feeling associated with it.
Reality, however, tells us that while it is ok to be bold, it is also necessary to �know where you are�.
Several interesting questions came up:
�If I say that I am committed to my family, then does it automatically mean that the commitment must manifest in acts like I must be at home everyday at a certain time?
�Can one say that one is committed even if that person cannot �show� anything that proves his or her commitment?
�How should one look at commitment to a result Vs commitment to the journey?
�Should one�s behavior reflect what one is committed to?
It looked like people tend to commit to something at various levels � at the level of thoughts, at the level of feelings, at the level of action etc. How far can one stretch the meaning of commitment and how far can it be subjective?
The session ended with these and many other questions that the participants did not have the chance to ask.
What is it that you don�t know about commitment? Ask your question, post it here.
Posted by Ragu at November 2, 2005 01:44 PM
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Comments
Dear Srini:
Good question -- can our value system be changed or rearranged?
My sense is that value system is based on a few value bricks, many belief bricks and conviction cement. It is a rigid system because it has been used as a testing ground for every decision we made so far. But if you begin to examine your convictions, beliefs and values by first becoming aware of them and paying attention to them deeply, you will notice that some of them are no longer true and meaningful and give away. Others on the other hand, you have to work at them.
That reminds me of sloka from third chapter of Gita where Krishna said that there are three kinds of obstructions or issues you have to deal with -- one kind are like smoke on the fire. You can blow on the firewood and smoke disappears. Second kind is like dust on the mirror. Blowing on it will not take it away but you have to get a clean rag and wipe it thoroughly for the mirror to be clean. The third kind is like baby in the womb. You cannot bring baby out prematurely without risking its life and only time and good care will ensure healthy and happy baby (and the mother).
So some beliefs, values and commitments respond to paying attention to them, some by working on them and others, you have to work on them without any attachment to time it takes.
helpful?
best
Prasad
Hi,
Not quite long ago, I was pondering on commitment and arrived at an interesting place that is pretty close to the 'boiling water' parallel. It is the underlying principle or value framework that I operate out of, that determines how committed I am to various aspects in life.
In fact, one reflection of commitment could be to notice the choices we make at various instances. Like it is said "the true choice is that we make again under same circumstances".
Also, usually, one commits oneself to more than one value/principle but there is one supreme value (like NorthStar) that supersedes all other values. I find that the circumstances and choices made are mere external manifestations of these drivers. As I recollect from my past, no matter where I go, with whom I interact, what promises I make, I take "me" with me always and I am just committed to this value framework - or - myself!
This takes me back to the "Gremlin" question: Can this value system that operate me be changed? or atleast re-arranged?
Cheers
Posted by: srini at November 3, 2005 09:09 AM
Posted by: prasad Kaipa at January 8, 2006 12:11 PM
Hi Arvind:
Your questions made me pause.
I would say passion helps one to commit. When there is commitment, then passion is partially driving force behind it. How do you recognize it? You identify what one is truly committed to by seeing one's actions, right? How well those actions are being performed? How excellence is demonstrated through one's work? That is how you discover passion connection. It does not mean you will tap into passion, right away -- You just find what questions to ask so that you can access the passion.
What said regarding comfort zone is important. When you are committed, you go outside the comfort zone to act and fulfil your commitment. Similarly, when one is passionate, one breaks out of the box called comfort zone. if one is not able to do so, that means the fear is more and vision is not clear. How do i make that connection? Vision is the clear picture of the future that you want to create. When there is no passion or commitment, then that vision remains a dream or a fantasy. When you are committed to that vision, then you move, your action pushes through your fears.
Summarizing, passion alone does not help you break through fears. Commitment to a vision or a goal is necessary. When there is commitment, there is passion as the driver and potentially vision as the end goal.
does it make sense to you?
--
Hi,
How do we turn a commitment into a passion ?
Sometimes, a commitment forces us to
come out of a comfort zone.
Should we be driven by dreams (visions) ?
Thanks.
Posted by: Arvind at November 2, 2005 07:33 PM
Posted by: prasad Kaipa at January 8, 2006 12:03 PM
Hi,
Not quite long ago, I was pondering on commitment and arrived at an interesting place that is pretty close to the 'boiling water' parallel. It is the underlying principle or value framework that I operate out of, that determines how committed I am to various aspects in life.
In fact, one reflection of commitment could be to notice the choices we make at various instances. Like it is said "the true choice is that we make again under same circumstances".
Also, usually, one commits oneself to more than one value/principle but there is one supreme value (like NorthStar) that supersedes all other values. I find that the circumstances and choices made are mere external manifestations of these drivers. As I recollect from my past, no matter where I go, with whom I interact, what promises I make, I take "me" with me always and I am just committed to this value framework - or - myself!
This takes me back to the "Gremlin" question: Can this value system that operate me be changed? or atleast re-arranged?
Cheers
Posted by: srini at November 3, 2005 09:09 AM
Hi,
How do we turn a commitment into a passion ?
Sometimes, a commitment forces us to
come out of a comfort zone.
Should we be driven by dreams (visions) ?
Thanks.
Posted by: Arvind at November 2, 2005 07:33 PM
hi :) here's a question!
how would you feel about making a commitment vs. making/taking a vow? is it the same? a brahmacharini once told me: never make vows. I'm sure she didn't mean not to make commitments. so what is this extra "room" in commitment that makes it less serious..?
and also, I was looking for more examples of how commitment is an identification/labeling of something that you're already doing.
I can sort of see how commitment to something is actually joyful because maybe you don't feel this worry about whether to do it or not, you're already committed so you can just enjoy what you're doing, especially if you made the commitment to something you really wished to do but always had the "not enough time" excuse (e.g. yoga, music practice, meditation).
Posted by: Seema at November 2, 2005 04:08 PM