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April 11, 2005
Availability
Perhaps because of less number of people this week, something I always look for in a dialogue happened: We spontaneously saw a truth by being a mirror to each other.
We asked ourselves why is it that sometimes we get bored or disinterested while being engaged in some work. We went through the regular reasoning � lack of newness, frustration due to the difficulty of a challenge, the size of the reward (why should I work so much to get so little) etc.
We discussed ways in which one could become aware of the reason that induces boredom or disinterest and how to get over it.
We talked about what happens due to bored and disinterest. One possible result is the energy drain. Though the work may not be physically or mentally demanding, our energy drains if boredom or disinterest sets in. We were familiar with the concept of 'energy drain' through one of Prasad�s articles, Four Questions. But we also realized that sometimes there is enough energy, but not for that particular task.
The dialogue seemed to halt at this point. Identifying and removing every reason that can result in boredom or disinterest felt like a drag. We wanted to look into this more deeply. We came upon the following points in the ensuing dialogue:
In any task, we are not only looking for a positive result at the end of the task but we also constantly look for certain excitement throughout the course of he task. Whatever takes away that excitement results in all kinds of negative emotions like frustration, irritation, anxiety� or often just plain boredom. Once we start experiencing these emotions, unless we re-energize ourselves in some way, we become less and less available for that task. It is as if we start using one hand instead of two, and one eye instead of two and so on.
But all of us are aware of times when we were fully engaged regardless of the kinds of tasks we were doing. In those times, we cease to expect anything in return in the course or at the end of the tasks. We simply enjoy doing the tasks. This happens to many people when they are engaged in a series of tasks with people they love (family, friends etc). It is not the case that in those times everyone is constantly expressing their love to one another but one does experience being in a �field� of love. The only expectation in those times is to continue being in that field.
What makes this field possible? Of course, people. And what is special about the people in this field? Here is where it gets interesting � We thought it could be some special qualities in the people, it could be common values and beliefs, it could be shared history� while all of these seem to have some role, we realized that these aspects may result in good relationships but not necessarily in creation of a field.
We went back to our individual experiences of having been in such a field. We could then clearly see that what creates the field is a simple act of being available not for a specific task but for the other people in the field. When even two people become fully available to each other, wherever they are, whatever may be the circumstance, the field gets created.
So, the next crucial question is, if we are capable of becoming fully available for someone else, can we do the same for ourselves? What a thought! If we could not expect our actions to provide us some payback, but simply be fully available to ourselves, we would not longer get caught up in anxiety, fear, boredom etc. We would have then created a field within ourselves. We would become a walking field touching and inviting anyone we come across to be part of it and hence enlarging it.
Let me finish by quoting the guru of a friend of mine:
Once my friend we invited by his guru to take up some responsibility that was new to him. He hesitated and told his guru that he does not have enough knowledge or experience in that job. The guru told him, �Son, it is not a question of your ability but only your availability.�
Question:
What makes us become available to someone else and not our own self? What can we learn from being in a field with someone else that we can use to become fully available to ourselves?
Posted by Ragu at April 11, 2005 11:04 AM
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